Burger King onion rings (with their special dipping sauce) is never a good idea. I don’t know why I keep eating it when it ALWAYS, without fail, makes me sick. That’s what I ate after the Dane Cook show last night and my stomach is still in knots, which sucks, because we’re planning on having a nice lunch or dinner at Lonestar Steakhouse to celebrate my promotion at work.
So the Dane Cook show was nothing short of fantastic (sans the stupid fans surrounding us)! And I’m not just saying that because he’s just as hot in person as he is on tv. ;) He really is funny as all shit. He can tell a story so well. He is a brilliant comic! He was so enjoyable to watch that I’ll even forgive him for coming on stage over a half hour late. And I don’t know whether he controls what music they play while you wait, but you’d think they could have picked out more than the same five songs off The Killers’ newest album to play at least four times in a row. That was really annoying and now my love for The Killers has waned somewhat.
Every time I go out I am amazed all over again at how ridiculously rude people can be, not to mention pathetic. Dane’s performance was approximately an hour and a half, and between the time most people got to their seats and the show was over, three hours had elapsed. Yet a group of people sitting behind us managed to suck down five beers a piece over that time period at $6.25 each. Since we were up in the nosebleed section (which surprisingly had a great view since the stage was in the round and Dane took turns facing everyone), the seats were only $50 each, so those idiots spent more money on beer than tickets. Plus I have a newsflash for them: you don’t have to be drunk to enjoy Dane Cook’s comedic talent: he’s brilliant even when you’re sober like I was!
We missed out on about two different stories Dane told thanks to the ushers and their relentless effort to locate the correct seats for this stupid couple who showed up 45 minutes late. Hey dipshits, I paid $123 for this experience and I’d like to enjoy it. If you’re going to show up that late, sit somewhere in the back and don’t inconvenience everyone else! Someone else was in their seats and it took them 15 minutes to sort it out. To the usher I have to say: you work there, don’t you know where the seats are?!? You had to get your supervisor to sort this out? What is this world coming to? Brainless twits!
We had to stand up no less than six times to let these people back and forth, not to mention all the times the late arrivals got up to get beer. Fuck, the show was not that long! I hate how people can ruin your good time. We found our seats at 7:15 pm and we didn’t move until 10 pm. It’s not that goddamn difficult. It’s like everyone in our row had ADD or something and I was so close to starting some shit because I wanted to say something so bad. It was just irritating to say the least.
To add to all the annoyance, the girl to my left was a bit too big for her seat and she was infringing on my personal space. What really bugged me is that she stuffed her fucking pants pocket so full with god knows what that it was hanging over onto my seat and rubbing against my leg. I like my space and no one is allowed to violate that but Joe.
So to summarize: Dane is cool, some of his fans are not. Although it was kinda cool before Dane came out how one side of the theatre started a wave that went all around the place a couple of times. And Dane’s encore was the Kool-Aid Man skit which is one of my favorites. He did a nice job of mixing old material with some new (and hilarious) stories. The stuff he did about people’s “cash and prizes” had me in tears. I wonder if he’ll use the same exact material for his HBO special (which films tomorrow night in Boston) or if there will be more new stuff. Hopefully we’ll be able to catch the stuff we missed. I’ll be looking forward to when it airs so I can enjoy it without interruption. Imagine that!
Be happy of one thing… that you didn’t eat those BK onion rings and dipping sauce before the show. You’d have been even more miserable running back and forth to the bathroom.
Anytime I’m going to something like this that requires me to be in one place for an extended period of time without wanting to take a bathroom break, I have to carefully plan out what I eat and drink so I don’t have to get up and “go.” Never fun.