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Breaking up is hard to do

May 7th, 2006

Dear Chipotle,

I realize I haven’t visited you a lot lately, and have been seeing other restaurants, but did you really have to change so much since we last spent time together? Not only did your taco-making employee upset me by putting extra pico de gallo on my tacos instead of just a little, like I requested no less than three times since I could tell he was paying more attention to his coworker than to what I was asking, but your chips and guacamole are seriously disappointing. They used to be the best gig in town; what happened? The chips aren’t salty enough, plus they are too thick and greasy. The guacamole is chunky and lacks the tangy lime, salt and cilantro flavor I had come to love. Also, since when did you start putting green peppers in there? Haven’t you ever heard the term “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? But the straw that broke the camel’s back? You disowning Mr. Pibb. Why oh why did you do it? He was always good to you.

Oh Chipotle, I never thought I’d have to say this, but I don’t think I can see you anymore. I realize I neglected you in my quest to lose weight, but I never expected you’d let yourself go in my absence. I heard you’ll be taking up residence nearby within the next year, and I hope that we can be friends. Maybe, just maybe, we can reconcile, but only if you start acting like yourself again. In any case, thank you for the good times. I will always cherish the time we had together.


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  1. kapgar
    May 8th, 2006 at 08:10 | #1

    I am so sorry. Our Chipotle still rocks so long as the people cooking and preparing are latino. They are the greatest guys and gals around and always take care of us. Recently, we had a couple of preparers, though, that were decidedly not latino and they gipped us. Cheap bastards.

  2. David
    May 8th, 2006 at 21:15 | #2

    I’ve noticed the change too…and as for the weight thing, have you checked out http://www.chipotlefan.com? It has a calculator that calculates the calories/fat/etc. of your burrito your way. VERY scary.

  3. May 9th, 2006 at 18:50 | #3

    Would you believe I’ve never eaten at one. They are all over the place downtown I just stroll by. Sorry you were disappointed though. It’s always a drag when a favorite place screws up or starts changing for the worst.

  4. May 10th, 2006 at 10:46 | #4

    A tear cam to my eye at finding another lover of Mr. Pibb. Many have said that it is a poor man’s Dr. Pepper, but that’s like saying Degas isn’t as good as Monet.

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