Friday evening Joe went out for drinks with a work buddy so I decided to try and get caught up a little on Orange Is The New Black since season five just dropped and we were still only halfway through season 4. Joe is never really was in the mood to watch it so I warned him I wasn’t going to wait for him anymore. I knocked out five episodes but didn’t really enjoy them so he didn’t miss much. I think I might be over that show, and watching TV in general. We didn’t even turn it on at all last weekend. Nothing really holds my interest or gets me excited save for a few Netflix shows which we tend to binge watch within a week because we have no self control.
Saturday we took Wookie to the park to tire her out since we knew we’d be leaving her at home when we went to my parents house to celebrate the holiday prematurely. We stopped by B’s house first to meet his new dog, a nine year old poodle mix he and his girlfriend got from a friend who no longer wanted her. She’s really friendly and R sent me a Snapchat a couple of days later saying she’s enjoying the rope toy we brought her.
My mom decided we were doing Mexican food for the American holiday (lol) so I brought fixings for burrito bowls. Joe and B worked on running another ethernet cable from the router in the basement up to B’s old room where my mom likes to watch Netflix. The WiFi signal is weak in there, plus when we boosted it she was getting headaches, hence the need for the hard line. She wanted Joe to use the same hole that the cable comes through but it wasn’t wide enough so the plan was to cut the fittings off the cable line to remove it, widen the hole, and then put both lines through it. Only problem was Joe hadn’t anticipated needing to do that so we didn’t have any of the necessary equipment. We texted B since he does that kinda stuff for a living to see if he had any in his car (as even though we parted ways at the same time to head to my parents he was still en-route). Well, turns out he had the tools but no fittings, However, he just so happened to pass a Comcast truck on the way over, pulled up alongside to ask the tech if he had any fittings, and the guy gave him four. Hilarious!
Despite being at my parents’ for roughly 5 hours, we never got around to playing any games. Earlier in the day Joe learned that his mom had gone to the hospital with pain in her abdomen and was diagnosed with uterine cancer. She’s already had colon cancer, and possibly breast cancer too, so she’s not really interested in going through chemo again at her age (79). Joe’s sister and mom ended up calling him while we were at my parents’ so he spent some time downstairs speaking to them. Right now we’re not exactly sure what is going to happen until she has a few more tests to see whether the cancer is contained. If so, she can have a hysterectomy and if not, well, I guess that means she may not be with us much longer. Either way we need to make plans to go see her since nothing is guaranteed.
I love Joe’s mom and am sad that this is happening. I realize death is inevitable but I have difficulty accepting it and how it changes our lives. I’m absolutely terrified of dying or having anyone I love pass away. It just makes it feel like life is completely pointless. I’ve been having my own health issues lately and it’s very frustrating. Last night I had two back to back panic attacks. I took a Xanax when the first one started and then just as I was calming down it started up again so I had to take another. I didn’t get much sleep and I’ve spent most of the day just doing my chores slowly and resting in between because I’m afraid of triggering another one. My doctor put me on a low dose steroid for six days to help reduce the inflammation that was causing my neck to be stiff but I’m not sure it helped all that much but it certainly made my lymph nodes swell up and hurt one of the days. In addition, after certain doses my throat would catch when I swallowed and overall I just felt like my body wasn’t cooperating. Also, I’m learning now that some people experience withdrawal symptoms (even if they taper off like I did) which includes severe anxiety. My last dose was yesterday morning so I’m guessing it could be the reason for these panic attacks and the non-stop burning/reflux I’ve been having. Just what I need. I’m so sick of feeling like something is seriously wrong with me but no one can figure it out. It would be nice to just feel normal or get a non-life-threatening diagnosis so I could do something proactive about my health and feel better.
Anyway….
Sunday we went to Savers and I got a cute top I will probably wear to my friend’s party later this month. I always feel like I look like a slob so I’ve been on a mission to find some cute outfits that are also comfortable. I also got this strange little figurine that caught my eye at the mall.
It reminded me of the Skelanimals that were all the rage a few years ago.
Monday I did my usual cleaning since Joe was at work and Tuesday we grilled burgers and had a low-key holiday just the two of us. Wookie was not liking the fireworks on Monday and Tuesday nights and mostly hid under my desk. Unfortunately she will have to deal with them again next week when our town’s annual summerfest shoots off fireworks both Wednesday and Sunday nights.