Clerks II / Carlos Mencia / DM

I almost shit myself when I read on My Boring Ass Life that Clerks II is being released July 21st instead of August 18th like I originally posted. It’s one of those rare times where we’d like to see the movie on opening night, but there is always a 50/50 chance said night will fall on a weekend we have the kids and we wouldn’t be able to go. However, I am happy to report that July 21st is a non-kids weekend so I can now breathe easy.

Another event that we’re kid-free and able to attend is Carlos Mencia‘s stop on his Punisher tour, although he didn’t make it easy. I got an e-mail from his fanclub about the 50 cities he’ll be performing in, so I went to his tour schedule and didn’t see anything in Illinois at all (it’s since been added to the page). My friend checked Ticketmaster just for the hell of it and we learned he’ll be in nearby Rosemont on October 27th. We quickly decided we have to go together (Joe too, of course), so I held my breath and checked my Yahoo calendar to see if it’s a kids weekend, but it’s not. Ticketmaster was holding a pre-sale and my friend closed the page because it required a password. Those passwords are never that hard to figure out (in fact it was in the e-mail I received, I just hadn’t paid any attention and didn’t notice it until I looked at it again later), so I told her to try entering ‘punisher’ and sure enough, it let us in. We searched for the best available seats for three people and it put us way in the back. I’ve been to that theatre once before to see The Kids In The Hall and I didn’t want those crappy seats. Since we were at work, I decided to try it again later from home, but wouldn’t you know it, the pre-sale had sold out by then! Tickets officially go on sale this Saturday, so I’ll just buy them then. Sure hope I can get my butt out of bed by 10 am. ;)

Sometime last year we completely switched the kids weekend cycle to make things easier since their mom kept wanting to “switch weekends” and that always bites because it really means having to “double-up” which can quickly get tiring having a full-time job and wanting to just relax on the weekend. Ever since then, most adults-only events, although not all (sorry Kevin), have automatically fallen on a weekend we’re free. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that our good luck continues.

** Ticketbastard doesn’t get a link since I don’t get my $4.50 processing charge refunded for the cancelled Depeche Mode show. They told me it’s not their fault it was cancelled. Yea, well it’s not my fault either. I guess I should e-mail Dave Gahan and tell him I want my money back. ;)

Dane Cook – Chicago Show

Burger King onion rings (with their special dipping sauce) is never a good idea. I don’t know why I keep eating it when it ALWAYS, without fail, makes me sick. That’s what I ate after the Dane Cook show last night and my stomach is still in knots, which sucks, because we’re planning on having a nice lunch or dinner at Lonestar Steakhouse to celebrate my promotion at work.

So the Dane Cook show was nothing short of fantastic (sans the stupid fans surrounding us)! And I’m not just saying that because he’s just as hot in person as he is on tv. ;) He really is funny as all shit. He can tell a story so well. He is a brilliant comic! He was so enjoyable to watch that I’ll even forgive him for coming on stage over a half hour late. And I don’t know whether he controls what music they play while you wait, but you’d think they could have picked out more than the same five songs off The Killers’ newest album to play at least four times in a row. That was really annoying and now my love for The Killers has waned somewhat.

Every time I go out I am amazed all over again at how ridiculously rude people can be, not to mention pathetic. Dane’s performance was approximately an hour and a half, and between the time most people got to their seats and the show was over, three hours had elapsed. Yet a group of people sitting behind us managed to suck down five beers a piece over that time period at $6.25 each. Since we were up in the nosebleed section (which surprisingly had a great view since the stage was in the round and Dane took turns facing everyone), the seats were only $50 each, so those idiots spent more money on beer than tickets. Plus I have a newsflash for them: you don’t have to be drunk to enjoy Dane Cook’s comedic talent: he’s brilliant even when you’re sober like I was!

We missed out on about two different stories Dane told thanks to the ushers and their relentless effort to locate the correct seats for this stupid couple who showed up 45 minutes late. Hey dipshits, I paid $123 for this experience and I’d like to enjoy it. If you’re going to show up that late, sit somewhere in the back and don’t inconvenience everyone else! Someone else was in their seats and it took them 15 minutes to sort it out. To the usher I have to say: you work there, don’t you know where the seats are?!? You had to get your supervisor to sort this out? What is this world coming to? Brainless twits!

We had to stand up no less than six times to let these people back and forth, not to mention all the times the late arrivals got up to get beer. Fuck, the show was not that long! I hate how people can ruin your good time. We found our seats at 7:15 pm and we didn’t move until 10 pm. It’s not that goddamn difficult. It’s like everyone in our row had ADD or something and I was so close to starting some shit because I wanted to say something so bad. It was just irritating to say the least.

To add to all the annoyance, the girl to my left was a bit too big for her seat and she was infringing on my personal space. What really bugged me is that she stuffed her fucking pants pocket so full with god knows what that it was hanging over onto my seat and rubbing against my leg. I like my space and no one is allowed to violate that but Joe.

So to summarize: Dane is cool, some of his fans are not. Although it was kinda cool before Dane came out how one side of the theatre started a wave that went all around the place a couple of times. And Dane’s encore was the Kool-Aid Man skit which is one of my favorites. He did a nice job of mixing old material with some new (and hilarious) stories. The stuff he did about people’s “cash and prizes” had me in tears. I wonder if he’ll use the same exact material for his HBO special (which films tomorrow night in Boston) or if there will be more new stuff. Hopefully we’ll be able to catch the stuff we missed. I’ll be looking forward to when it airs so I can enjoy it without interruption. Imagine that!

Dane Cook is coming to Chi-Town

See that guy to the left? Not only is he the funniest comedian around, but guess who is seeing him live next month? Yep, that would be Joe and me! I got an e-mail this morning from Dane’s mailing list announcing a Chicago show on April 13th at Allstate Arena. I was so excited, I almost couldn’t contain myself! The pre-sale was at 9 am and we managed to snag decent seats considering how much they were asking. I love Dane, but I couldn’t stomach spending $100 each to sit in 30th row. I’m afraid only Robert Smith can hold the honor of no price is too high. It cost over $100 as it is and we chose the second to cheapest ticket option. I just hope Dane has some new material. I assume so since he’s filming his HBO special in Boston just two days later. We’re way up in the balcony, but not too far from the stage.

I think I’ll bring the binoculars just in case. ;)

Stand Up

Dane Cook will be shooting an HBO Stand-Up special in Boston in April and I wish I could go, but we’re not planning on any large trips for the next year or two so we we can get back on schedule saving money. We are planning on a small road trip to Pittsburgh in May or June, though. So far on the agenda is the Pittsburgh Zoo, Phipps Botanic Gardens, and Kennywood Amusement Park. Any other suggestions?

Oh and how cool is it that I left Nick Swardson a little message via his website regarding his performance in Grandma’s Boy and he wrote me back twice? That guy is funny, especially in that movie. I hope he does a stand-up tour soon. Other than The Kids In The Hall and one evening at the Improv Olympic, I haven’t been to many live comedy events.

Like an island, except …

When we were playing Trivial Pursuit on Thanksgiving, one of the questions I had to ask my dad used the term atoll. Not having the faintest clue what an atoll even was, I asked my dad. He replied, “It’s like an island except surrounded by water”. Yeah.