Swedish Days Festival & Back Aches

Sunday we headed to Geneva and walked around their Swedish Days festival from 10am-1pm. We shared a combo plate of ham (with some sort of dill sauce), swedish meatballs, sausage, rye bread, cucumber salad, and pineapple cake. It wasn’t a ton of food, but really good! We also shared a treat at a local chocolate & ice cream store. We decided to leave right before the parade started at 1 pm and went to Noodles & Company for lunch thanks to a BOGO coupon. On the way home we stopped at Savers since all clothing was 50% off but it was a bust. By the time we got home we were both exhausted and wanted to do nothing more than veg on the couch. Plus I had a headache that wouldn’t quit.

Today my back is aching, I guess from the walking I did yesterday. It’s been giving me grief on and off for weeks. I haven’t exercised since June 9th due to this crap. If my back starts feeling better and I exercise for just fifteen minutes, it hurts again the next day. Walking at a leisurely pace causes it to hurt the next day too! WTH??? I’m not exercising particularly long or intensely, so I don’t get why suddenly it’s been an issue. I had been exercising regularly for months but now I can’t at all or the next day I’ll be in pain. It’s so frustrating! And yet, my doctors claim I don’t have an autoimmune disease. This seems like one to me – mystery ailments that crop up for no reason and then eventually go away on their own. This is the latest in the trend.

I just hope this latest issue goes away soon because a) I can’t lose the ten pounds I’ve gained since last summer unless I starve myself and b) we have a staycation planned in July that will involve lots of walking for at least two of the days.

Too Many Errands

What a busy day! It started with a stop at Speedway for coffee and hot chocolate and then we went to McDonalds since I had a BOGO coupon for Egg McMuffins.

We were placing our order at the counter when we heard this loud crash from the drive thru area. I thought maybe someone had dropped a coffee carafe because the drive thru employee jumped back at the same time we heard glass breaking. Turns out a lady in the drive thru couldn’t get her SUV’s window to open so she opened her door but forcefully enough that it made contact with the glass on the drive thru window and shattered it. Good times!

Our next stops included Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, and The Container Store before heading to the mall so we could check out beds at the Sleep Number store. We really need a new bed but we’re having the hardest time making a decision. The Sleep Number beds are pretty nice but holy hell they get expensive fast. I was looking at their price list and their top of the line model is $10,000!!!! I’m not 100% convinced they are the way to go although we are leaning toward a much more affordable model in the $3000 range. That still seems excessive but if it really does last the 25 years in the warranty then it would be totally worth it. Problem is it’s only that price through the end of the month and then it goes up to around $5000. Ugh, I hate making expensive decisions!

After looking at beds we stopped in the Aveda store to cash in my birthday postcard for a free item. The employee had me choose my favorite scent among several options she added to my choice – a body wash, salt scrub, lotion, or body spray. I chose the latter but it turns out I hate how it smells. It’s different than what the bare scented oil smelled like, so that was a waste. I guess I’ll see if anyone I know wants it.

We killed some time at the mall and then had lunch at Happy Elephant. They have the best crab Rangoon so we split an order along with potstickers and happy wraps.

Next up was a doctor appointment to go over my sleep study results. Bottom line – study showed no abnormalities and other than keeping a sleep journal to help me determine what might be triggering me to wake up so often, and instructions by the doctor to not look at the clock when I do wake up, there wasn’t much to say. For whatever reason, though, after the first doctor and I spoke about the results, he said another doctor had to come in to examine me and I ended up waiting a half hour for him to show his face. After 25 minutes I left the room to inquire what was going on and the guy didn’t even apologize when he came in a couple of minutes later. Jerk.

On the way home we stopped at the library and picked up a few things from Target. I totally forgot to bring in return from the car and was too exhausted to even bother at that point. We also skipped dropping off our donations at Savers because we both wanted to just go home and relax. Neither of us slept well last night and we rarely run so many errands in one day so it took a toll on our energy.

Depression Free

I fired my therapist yesterday. She didn’t do anything wrong; in fact she helped me with some very useful mental exercises to help keep negative thoughts at bay. Oh, and just for the record, despite what I’ve been told by different people over the years, I am not a negative person. My therapist explained that I grew up in a negative environment, but that I’m actually a positive person. So f-you to all those people who tried to make me feel like I had a personality flaw just because I was realistic about things. I’m actually an optimist even though I don’t necessarily run around acting all happy go lucky all the time (because to me that is just bizarre).

Our insurance is changing in March which means I might not be able to see her anyway, and even if I did, it would likely cost more per session than it does now. But the main thing is I don’t need to see her at all because I haven’t felt depressed in two months. I’m just not sure why. That’s the big mystery, and what scares me because I feel like I have no way to control how I feel.

Needless to say, I decided not to start taking the Lexapro after all. I was Googling info on it and some people felt sick for weeks when they first started taking it. And based on my experience the one day I did take it, that would totally be me! Plus it bugged me a little how many people had to go back on it when they tried to taper off. I don’t want to be stuck taking any medication long term if it isn’t absolutely necessary. That’s not to say I will never try it, but right now I’m not feeling crappy enough to want to deal with the side effects. Even my anxiety has lessened. I just wish I knew how to control all this.

Neurologist & General Health Update

As you can tell by the blog-post bombing, I actually have some time today to sit down and write about what’s been going on around these parts.

This morning I had a follow-up appointment with my neurologist to go over my test results. I initially saw him regarding how easily my hands and feet get so cold, which I wrote about here. I also had some blood work done, and went back to his office so he could shock me and stick a long-ass needle into my muscles (which he didn’t warn me about, which in hindsight is a good thing or I really would have dreaded that visit even though the needle didn’t hurt much) to test my nerves’ response.

Well, the doctor said my nerves are perfectly fine and most of my blood work is too. From a purely neurological standpoint, I’m healthy. There was one troublesome area, however – my anti-nuclear antibody test came back abnormal which indicates the possibility of some auto-immune disease. This really doesn’t come as much of shock to me because I’m convinced I do have some type of autoimmune disease since I’m always having strange symptoms come and go. Plus I’ve had tests in the past that have indicated this although nothing is ever diagnosed. So my next step is to see a rheumatologist for further testing.

I brought along my sleep-study results for the neurologist to review and explained about the episodes I have where about 20-30 minutes after drifting off I will wake up suddenly feeling like I can’t breathe and/or like there’s a presence in the room. He said this can happen to people with an autoimmune disease such as lupus, although it happens to healthy individuals as well. So I asked him his opinion on the safety of Xanax since I read that it can cause dementia. He said that my dose (.25 mg) is too low, plus that usually occurs in people 60+.

Then I asked him what he though of Lexapro, which my psychiatrist prescribed for my anxiety and depression (although surprisingly the depression went away on it’s own as soon as I made the appointment, which is so typical). He said it’s really good and would help with my sleep issues and is actually good for your brain. So maybe I will take it after all. I had started taking it before Christmas but just a half dose of 5 mg made me so nauseated I decided to postpone taking it until after the holidays and have been hemming and hawing ever since. I really don’t like the idea of taking medication, but maybe I should give the Lexapro a chance. He did say the nausea goes away after a couple of days, so if I start it on a Friday, hopefully my body will adjust before I have to go back to work on a Tuesday.

Finally, I mentioned to him that sometimes lately when I’m trying to watch TV I notice that following the action on screen tends to hurt my eyes and at the same time the back of my neck seems stiff, but he didn’t think it was migraine-related (even though my eye doctor did). In fact, he thought it was just eye strain. He also didn’t think much of this one incidence I described from two weeks ago where I was sitting at my desk at work and out of nowhere I felt like I was spinning. He said this can happen to anyone. I was worried that perhaps my ENT misdiagnosed me and something neurological is wrong with me but the doctor doesn’t think so and even looked at my MRI results again.

I do like my neurologist because he seems very thorough and thoughtful, so I have to trust he wouldn’t be telling me I’m fine neurologically if I wasn’t. It just annoys me that the balance/dizziness my ENT has been working with me on is not improving. This means I need to schedule physical therapy which I didn’t want to do. I told Joe this was going to be the year of no doctors, since I’m fed up with it all, but obviously that’s not going to happen.

2015 Goals

I’m not big on resolutions, but I do have a goal to lose 10-15 pounds before summer so I feel better in more revealing clothing. Ideally I’d lose 15 pounds so I could get down to 120 pounds, but it seems like once I hit 123 pounds I get stuck. Last year the closest I got was 122 and I kinda gave up because I was pretty happy with how everything fit and how I looked. I’m not so happy now because all the extra weight tends to sit on my hips. It’s particularly annoying right now as I wear long underwear beneath my pants to keep warm but with the extra weight I can’t wear them under jeans, and I refuse to buy a larger pair! So I’ve been wearing lose fitting dress pants to work and track pants at home. My jeans fit ok, albeit snug, without the long underwear but I’d freeze to death without them.

I was actually doing well working out 20-40 minutes per day on the elliptical until my birthday when I went back to work. Up until then I had been working out every day for five days straight. I haven’t been feeling very well since my birthday but once I get over whatever that is I plan to get back to a regular workout schedule again. Honestly, 10-15 pounds is not THAT much to lose; I can do this!