My last day of work on Friday was pretty surreal in the respect that I worked right up until the end. But first my team treated me to lunch at Wildfire where my boss expressed how much I’d be missed and that I’d always have a job there. I worked until about a half hour before my normal shift end, turned in my laptop and accessories to I.T., then made my rounds to say goodbye.
Despite what my boss predicted as I left, I did not cry once I made it to the parking garage. That’s not to say I’m not sad – because I am. I just don’t think it’s fully hit me yet. I’ve had my moments this weekend when I’ve silently questioned why I even left when there was so much that was good – the pay, my boss, most of my coworkers, the stellar reputation I built up over the years (you should have seen all the moving replies to my farewell email). Am I crazy to leave that all behind for the unknown? Maybe. I’ve never been a risk taker and this is by far the most risky thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I look at it this way – I’m relatively young and we have money in the bank. If there was ever a time to take a risk now is it. If I fail miserably, then so be it. But I’d rather regret doing something than feeling miserable and stuck in the same routine. I just have to keep reminding myself of this every time I start to panic over what I’ve done. My new mantra is to stay positive. I will persevere. I will find a job that excites and fulfills me and I will work my way up to a good salary again.
In the meantime I’ve got a growing list of goals to tackle during my sabbatical. One of those includes brushing up on my technical skills. I won’t get too much into it right now but will post when I’ve met each goal I’ve set for myself. The last thing I want is to become fat and lazy like I did back in 1997-1998 when I was out of work for nine months. I did absolutely nothing worth mentioning and only sunk into a depression. I vow not to let that occur again.