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Just Say No (To Starbucks)

August 21st, 2020

Yesterday I was browsing deal sites and saw Starbucks was having a BOGO deal from 2-7 pm if you ordered via the app. Now, you have to know something – we rarely go to Starbucks these days. And by rarely, I mean the last time we went was in January to get my free birthday drink which I let Joe have because I was too sick to give a crap. I’ve spent more time in the local Starbucks’ parking lot meeting up with buyers from Offer Up over the past two years than actually buying any drinks.

But seeing that deal made me think it would be a nice treat, which was cemented by the fact that they now have a peach green tea lemonade. Chick-fil-a got rid of their delicious peach lemonade so I’ve been trying to get my hands on a good peach drink ever since (side note: Lipton peach iced tea drink mix is great. I call it tea kool-aid). Joe wanted to try their Chai Creme Frappuccino, so we decided to place an order.

Starbucks Order

I was perplexed why our local store wasn’t listed in the app, so I had to pick one a little further away. The app claimed our drinks would take 15-18 minutes to prepare and that it would take 13 minutes to get there, so I placed the order as we pulled out of the driveway. Mistake #1.

We arrived at Starbucks to see a huge line in the drive-thru, so we decided I would run in to get our drinks, but there were a bunch of people in line inside too, and we had brought Wookie, so we opted to get in the drive-thru line so we could be together (and also because I didn’t feel comfortable standing in line for god knows how long). Mistake #2.

Starbucks DriveThru

Wookie Waiting

We watched as people pulled into the parking lot and left five minutes later with their drinks while we slowly made it to the window 45 minutes after we got in line. My drink was watered down (although not too bad since I had requested light ice) and Joe’s was melted/liquid which we didn’t notice until pulling away.

I ran inside with his drink to ask if they could re-make it since it had clearly been sitting out for awhile and they said yes but it would be a long wait because there were other people ahead of me. Say what? I dunno, I think I should have gotten priority, but I wasn’t about to cause a scene – everyone was stressed out enough. I asked them to explain to me how mobile ordering works so I don’t get an old drink again and according to the barista they usually wait until you get to the order board to start your drink but when it’s busy they just crank out the drinks. That seems like a recipe for shitty drinks and angry customers to me, but what do I know?

I didn’t want to wait any longer (our little adventure took over an hour as it was), which I explained to the barista, so she gave me a gift card for $4. Not quite enough to cover Joe’s drink, but good enough. We took it home and stuck it in the freezer and it eventually firmed up enough to enjoy a little. Also, Wookie got a puppuccino which was nice.

When I placed the order, Joe was concerned our drinks would end up sitting out, but I really believed Starbucks would have a way to prevent that. Silly me. Lesson learned! I also found out that our local Starbucks, which is on a extremely busy major road, closes at 3 pm even though all the other stores in the area don’t close until 8 pm or later. WTF?

As for the drinks – the frapp was pretty good, but chai flavored drinks taste like Christmas to me, so it seemed out of place for this time of year. My drink was ok, even though I could taste more of the mint green tea than any peach or lemonade.

Peach Tea Lemonade

To add insult to injury, even though I only drank half of my venti around 4:30 pm last night, I could not sleep for the life of me. I didn’t fall asleep until after 2 am and only after taking a Midnite, which I haven’t had to do in four months. Then today I got bad stomach issues, if you get my drift, probably from trying Joe’s milk-laden drink. Ugh! I curse thee, Starbucks!

Overall, I don’t think Starbucks is worth the price, and definitely isn’t worth the hassle when they’re having what they call Happy Hour (or the baristas on the Starbucks subreddit refer to as Horror Hour). I have about $20 left in my account that we’ll spend on snacks and the occasional vanilla latte for Joe until we run out of funds. Then it’s hasta la vista, baby.

I much prefer Dunkin Donuts anyway.

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