Work was cool about me taking a vacation day so I only worked Tuesday and Wednesday last week (getting to the point where only working two days would be awesome if I could pull it off). Wednesday night we drove down to my old hometown to attend the wake and then back again on Thursday morning for the mass and funeral.
Luckily my mom liked the flower arrangement I had chosen although she didn’t care for the “empty” spot without flowers in the arrangement. Hers was the only spay that was sent over so it was not only at the wake but also the funeral and graveside for the burial. My cousin insisted I take my arrangement home after the wake. This is what $63 buys you. I don’t care for the flowers with the pink/red spots on them (they weren’t in the photo of the arrangement I chose); they kind of ruin the look which should have been all white and blue. Also, the vase is different than what was pictured; it looks like a cheap one for $2 from Walmart.
Thursday we stopped at the local Burger King for breakfast since we got down there much quicker than we anticipated. It’s the only fast food chain for miles and was actually built when I was in high school. In fact, I was the first round of workers to have a job there but had to train at a different location so that once it opened I was ready to work. I ended up working there for about 3-4 years until I got pissed off at one of the shift managers and quit on the spot. But I was really good at my job while I was there and worked all the stations including front cash and drive thru. You could say I was the Burger Queen. ;)
Mass was weird. I grew up attending Sunday School and attending church weekly but I don’t practice anymore. I actually moved out of my parents’ house in my early twenties when my mom gave me an ultimatum to either continue going to church or leave. I chose the latter. It’s one thing to raise your kids with the religion you identify with, it’s another to try and force it on someone once they’re an adult. Ironically enough, neither one of my brothers go to church and they are still allowed to live there. And she claims there’s no favoritism. Suuuure…
I’m not even sure if I believe in God to be truthful. I don’t really call myself an atheist as I’m not 100% sure there is no God, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to believe that he’d allow such terrible things to happen to people. Plus some of the nastiest people I’ve ever met are avid church-goers. It just seems fucked up that those people would represent Christianity. Needless to say, it was uncomfortable to sit through a mass.
The graveside funeral was sad. It made me tear up to see my cousins and mom crying. Ugh.
The “nice” thing to come out of all this is that I got to know my mom’s cousin better as well as make plans to go to dinner with my cousins who lost their father. We never hang out, but death reminds you that we aren’t long on this earth, and if you’re like me doubting the existence of God then there’s likely not an afterlife to look forward to either.
In other words, you better have some fun now before it’s all over because “this is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time” – Fight Club