Adventures in Target

I often wonder if the security guard at Target thinks we have no lives for as often as we shop there. We had to go there twice this weekend because we forgot a few things the first time around. Actually, most of the stuff we forgot we bought at Walmart early this morning. Yep, another trip to Walmart in less than a month. Scary, I know! But I needed to return a shirt so what could we do?

One of the things we needed, for the first time ever, was ant traps. You see, we had a little invasion a week ago. Apparently ants really like jellybeans and when Joe put his hand in the dish to grab some, he noticed there were creepy crawlies everywhere. It was pretty nasty, especially because when he started killing them, some of them hid inside the cd cabinet and made appearances for days afterwards. Every time I walked by another ant was crawling around up there! That will be the last time I use the Easter candy dish for actual candy.

We needed apples, so it was back to Target we went. You see, the apples we bought there yesterday were mysteriously absent when we unpacked the groceries. Since Joe couldn’t recall if the cashier forgot to put them in the cart or he forgot them in the cart, we just bought another bag this morning. Now, you have to know that whenever we visit Target on a Sunday morning, Joe gets coffee. I usually stop in the restroom while he gets it, and then meet him when he’s adding sugar/cream. From there we make a right and start our shopping in the Produce section.

This is important to note because today Joe started walking to the left, which confused me. “Where are you going?” I asked. His response, “the guy has my change”. Then the liar walked over to the counter and came back with a hot dog! I was beside myself. The little shit ordered a hot dog with his coffee at 10 am when he knew I was making us breakfast as soon as we got home! Plus he had already eaten a Ding Dong on the ride to the store. I swear, his eating habits are starting to mirror Doug’s (from King of Queens). Remember his pre-dinner Whopper? Hilarious!

Which reminds me of a little conversation we had a few weeks ago. We were driving home from picking up dinner from Burger King when I was teasing Joe about how much food he got. He remarked, “I’m just working on putting on my winter weight” and I replied, “Um, I think you’re already there”. Luckily my husband has a sense of humor or I would have been sleeping on the couch that night.

But in all seriousness, we’ve let the eating get out of control again and we’re going to ease back into watching what we eat and exercising. Since we both love to eat, we’re focusing on the physical first, although I have made a vow not to purchase anymore cookies and to at least cut back a little on the bad food. So we took a walk in the park this afternoon. It was the first time we’ve been outside for recreation in months and it was nice, especially because most of the park was deserted.

Then we came home and I made a meatloaf. Oh the irony!